Session three with Bernardine
The feedback was good - they needed work as first drafts usually to need to have. The one thing I could do was write more description which I realized I cut back on because I was trying to write in a more condensed way. Of course description can live in one sentence and be specific so I need to go through the poems and put more in.
Bernardine suggested that I add more to his character and the desciption of the world around him (through his eyes) by watching the type of men I thought would most resemble him. I think I can be up to that task ;) I am also going into Selfridge's to find his cologne - what does it smell like, why did he pick it, etc. and also to go through the suit section - feel the make, the cut, how did his suit, clothes, bag, shoes, hair cut, style show more about him. I never thought of actually feeling/ experience those parts of a character.
SO this weekend it's a trip to the shop and some coffee drinking/ people watching. Well cute boy watching actually. Hee hee.
Labels: bernardine everisto, poems, poetry