Things I learned from my Ex(s) : Part One

I was thinking the other day after I slid under my new duvet, that I love the softness of it and that I hate the flat sheet my ex used to like between them. Then I had a brainwave or maybe a brainlesswave but it was wavy none the less. So...this is a list of the things I've learned from my exes (good and bad). No names will be mentioned in case they don't do this particular thing that I loved that their new girlfriend will love or something that isn't good that this aforementioned girl may need to learn for herself...

1) Crumpets are like English muffins but better. They are good to eat covered in peanut butter and jam to be eaten whilst lying in bed watching bad Saturday Morning television.
2) I like singing in musicals. I love Stephen Sondheim and will see one of his musicals even if it's done by teenagers.
3) As I mentioned in the intro above, the only thing that should be on my bed is a duvet and my grandma's quilt. Unless you have a scratchy blanket, you don't need a flat sheet in between you and your soft downy duvet. It may not be what you do, but it's the best way for me.
4) I clap when I get excited. I stop clapping at things when I'm generally unhappy.
5) Though I don't encourage smoking, standing outside in the early morning to keep someone company while they are sneaking a cigarette is an envigorating moment of the day.
6) I don't like people to touch me when I'm being sick.
7) I don't like people to touch me when I've drunk alot and feel like being sick.
8) Eating beer on fruitloops is wrong.
9) My stomach hurts so I can't eat when I'm stressed.
10) Surprises are good - if they are good surprises. Those are the only surprises that should exist.
11) I had (sometimes have...) a weak spot for musicians and drama teachers. But never my drama teacher. That's wrong.
12) Always knock when the door is closed.
13) Everybody masterbates.
14) Silky jammies are the best thing to sleep in if you feel like sleeping in something.
15) My family is really important and are always there when things get bad. They're also there when things are good. They can occassionally be funny.
16) Friends might not like your taste in men but they'll usually still like you. Especially when it's all over and you're back to normal.
17) Friends are important. Don't ever forget that (they even understand when you don't call for the first 3 months of "new boy-ness)
18) Holidays and birthdays and anniversaries are important. I like to celebrate. I like to celebrate with people I love. Even if it's a holiday invented by hallmark, I still want to celebrate it, cause...well why not? Let's celebrate every day! We're still breathing right?
19) People who love and respect you are there for you. Those who don't, aren't. It's important to remember that.
20) I should never be allowed to have candles that are not tea lights. Tea lights burn themselves out. Pillar candles can melt candle holders, drip to the floor and burn coffee tables. Only luck can stop that from starting a fire that kills you while you are sleeping and instead blackens the walls and guarentee that you will never get your deposit back.