A Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing
I just finished reading this book - I actually started last night and finished this morning, so you know it's a good read. The book is an accumulation of short stories that lead you through the life of Jane from her 14 year old self to that of an adult. Steller stuff. What really got me was the last story and Jane's following of a book similar to "The Rules" - the book that helps you bait and catch a man.
There's a point when Robert turned to her and said "At the wedding, you seemed different from...from who you turned out to be. (There) you were really funny and smart and open. You were out there."
Jane asks,"Who did I turn out to be?"
"Like someone from high school," he says. "Or I felt like I was in high school and I was going after you. Like I had to earn you or win you or something."
I read that I thought about guys I dated and about past relationships, yadadee, yada, yada, and I realized that some of those guys were still following those high school rules. That if they didn't get the chase, that they didn't really see the woman. I was told once that there wasn't enough mystery for long enough, that there wasn't a long enough dating period, (And though in this book, datey dates are refered to as "being asked out, with notice," I think that just meant to go out whenever the guy feels like it.), that all that should last at least a year (what? I say - What? That's crazy talk...but I digress).
Now after reading this book, I think what's with the games. Why does there have to be this waiting period, this holding back? Of course I'm not going to give a full gynocological break-down of my past on the first date, but you wouldn't do that with your friends either. But things come out slowly as you get to know each other - my deepest, darkest secrets take awhile to surface but the rest of my life is up for grabs. I like to talk. And I like to share. I didn't when I was five but I do now.
All of this makes me realize is that it's those guys that haven't grown up. No matter how much they think they have ("I pay the mortgage" "I have a real job...with prospects"), they still want to be with the head cheerleader, the elusive girl that no one can touch. And that involves the circling, the plotting, the preying. I'm not in high school anymore. I don't just want to be the prey. As Melissa Banks says to end the story and this book: "Both of us are hunters and prey, fishers and fish. We are the surf 'n' turf special with fries and slaw. We are just two mayflies mating on a summer night."
That's what I want.
There's a point when Robert turned to her and said "At the wedding, you seemed different from...from who you turned out to be. (There) you were really funny and smart and open. You were out there."
Jane asks,"Who did I turn out to be?"
"Like someone from high school," he says. "Or I felt like I was in high school and I was going after you. Like I had to earn you or win you or something."
I read that I thought about guys I dated and about past relationships, yadadee, yada, yada, and I realized that some of those guys were still following those high school rules. That if they didn't get the chase, that they didn't really see the woman. I was told once that there wasn't enough mystery for long enough, that there wasn't a long enough dating period, (And though in this book, datey dates are refered to as "being asked out, with notice," I think that just meant to go out whenever the guy feels like it.), that all that should last at least a year (what? I say - What? That's crazy talk...but I digress).
Now after reading this book, I think what's with the games. Why does there have to be this waiting period, this holding back? Of course I'm not going to give a full gynocological break-down of my past on the first date, but you wouldn't do that with your friends either. But things come out slowly as you get to know each other - my deepest, darkest secrets take awhile to surface but the rest of my life is up for grabs. I like to talk. And I like to share. I didn't when I was five but I do now.
All of this makes me realize is that it's those guys that haven't grown up. No matter how much they think they have ("I pay the mortgage" "I have a real job...with prospects"), they still want to be with the head cheerleader, the elusive girl that no one can touch. And that involves the circling, the plotting, the preying. I'm not in high school anymore. I don't just want to be the prey. As Melissa Banks says to end the story and this book: "Both of us are hunters and prey, fishers and fish. We are the surf 'n' turf special with fries and slaw. We are just two mayflies mating on a summer night."
That's what I want.
posted by Heather "Tails" Taylor at 11:24 am
2 Comments:
Y'know it's odd... I work at a book store and I've sold that book a number of times but it's strange how things look exactly the same from the other side of the fence. Just depends when you're looking over it maybe?
Totally know what you mean. I read this book once called "In the Meantime" and it talked about the fact that even though you may be right for each other, you may not be right for each other at that time. That you're "in the meantime" but I like how you put it. It's soooo true. Even though it doesn't seem like it is...until the end of a relationship when hindsite kicks in. Oh hindsite...why do you hide so well. Where are you when we need you?
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