Easy Bake: Italian Bachelor Spaghetti

The phone rings. Your friend is a mess. She's been sacked/ dumped/demoted or all of the above. So you say "Casa mia, casa tua" and she's on the way with a bottle of red. The only problem is a) you're skint and b)there's nothing in the house but hard bread, spaghetti, olive oil and a slightly suspect head of garlic. Under these circumstances, times call for Italian Bachelor Spaghetti!

This recipe was passed down to me by a little Italian man in a tiny Italian flat...about 18 months ago in Vauxhall. Though it's simple, it's delicious. Even my little brother, who only diets on chicken fingers and fries, gobbled this up. So to begin:

1. Fill a large saucepan with enough water to cook your spaghetti in. Put it on to boil.
2. Once the water begins to bubble, put in about 165 g of pasta (approx. a 1/3 of a box) for the two of you.
3. Heat a generous amount of oil in a pan and heat on medium.
4. Peel a couple of garlic cloves and toss them into the oil to give it flavour. Once the garlic begins to brown, remove them from the oil.
5. Answer the door, hug your friend and open the wine she's been clutching. Generously pour two large glasses.
6. Put the dried bread into a large sandwich bag and pass your friend a rolling pin. Convince her to roll the bread into crumbs and not hit it.
7. Take a piece of pasta and throw it at the wall. If it sticks, it's done.
8. Drain the pasta then cool it quickly by rinsing it in cold water.
9. Refill your wine glasses.
10. Mix the bread crumbs, the garlic infused oil and the pasta together until the noodles are completely coated in crumbs. Add salt, pepper and serve.

This should be enough carbs to heal a broken heart for the night especially if it's accompanied with plenty of red wine. It's also good for an all weekend Godfather marathon or vegging out in front of your favorite omnibus. Buon appetito!

Photo by Ishikawa Takanori

Cardiff's Chip Alley: Dorothy's V Six Fingers

During a recent visit to Cardiff, I was told I wouldn't have truely had a Cardiff experience unless I ended my evening in Chip Alley. We hit the street at 2 am and Chip Alley was right. There was more than half a dozen shops with various chips on offer but which were the best? After a few disagreements from my Welsh hosts, it was decided that the two best shops for chips were Dorothy's and 6 Fingers (it's actually called Capital Takeaway but supposedly the owner/ a worker has 6 fingers on one hand, hence the nickname). In a little bout of midnight fun we called forth a chip off. The 1st annual Cardiff Chip Off had commenced with:

DOROTHY'S VS SIX FINGERS

So first up is Dorothy's. Dorothy's has doors on either side with two counters so that double the people can enjoy their chips on offer. One of our group got chips with cheese and mayo. As I can't eat cheese, I had to have one from the bottom of the pile. I found them to be quite soft and a bit mealy in texture on the inside. We all tried one without cheese and the verdict was: they're OK.

Dorothy's with cheese

or

Salt and vinegar variety from Six Fingers

Next up...Six Fingers. The chips were hot and crisp but not too hot so no tongues or mouth roofs were harmed in the conduction of this chip off. The insides were cooked to perfection and still had a fluffy inside. They did have a touch of salt and vinegar on them so there were comments that it would make them taste better. As I was more convinced by the texture than the taste, we delegated Jamie to have a chip from each with the addition of some cheese since Dorothy's was covered in the stuff. Jamie's verdict came back resoundingly in favour of Six Fingers.

Our true Dorothy's fan didn't want to admit it, but Six Fingers did make the superior chip. She is convinced that it was a one off but for my Cardiff experience, Six Fingers wins the 1st annual Cardiff Chip Off. Any other Cardiff chip eaters? What do you think?

To fake or not to fake

I'll admit it, I have a dirty secret. I'm a bitter. A nail bitter. Year in, year out I've tried to stop but it never sticks. Sometimes I succeed for a couple months but then I'm back at it. I even wrote an essay when I was 13 entitled “My Proudest Achievement" which outlined how I had overcome adversity to stop chewing my nails. That didn't last very long.

Three years ago, after firmly believing I was damned to be a nail biter for life, my friend recommended that I try fake nails. But didn't fake nails belong in the same category as orange tans and hair extensions? I swallowed my apprehension, put my prejudice aside and got the fakes for my birthday to see what they were like. Glue, file, paint, polish. An hour later and I had nails! Beautiful, natural looking, glorious nails. Suddenly I was a girl. My hair was swishy, my hips swayed, my mascara seemed to stay firmly attached to eyelashes. All because of these newly gotten gains.

The thing they don't tell you is that as your nails grow, the acrylics don't and they begin to peel at the edges. Acrylic also gets old and needs to come off on a regular basis so instead of chewing I was picking at them. And they're thick, so they aren't good for when you need to scratch your back or your nose. But at least, most of the time, they were pretty.

When the recession hit, my job went with it and suddenly rent became a luxury so the nails had to go. As I hadn't been biting for a few years, I thought I could hack it but I'm back to biting with a vengeance. Unintentionally, I'm curling my fingers inward and hiding non-existent nails and hangnails from sight. On top of that, I miss my old nails. I even miss the clickity clack they made on the keyboard.

So the question is...do I dive in again? Get the nails, keep them up or keep hiding my hands away? I should have more willpower, yes, but when an hour in a little beauty shop in Wandsworth yields such beautiful results, why should I?

Photo by Joe Shlabotnik

Taking my new TOMS shoes out for a spin

Taking a break from my mid-week lazing and to procrastinate further on the treatment I was supposed to write, I took my new red TOMS shoes out for a walk. This was the first day I had a chance to wear them since I bought them in Canada so I wasn't sure how comfortable they would be. Well I worried for nothing! My TOMS were not only comfortable but I got to see a nice deep red toe that poked out under my jeans wherever I walked.

Beyond the comfort they gave me, TOMS, more importantly, are made by a company that help children in need. TOMS shoes began after American Blake Mycoskie took a trip to Argentina in 2006. He became friends with the children there who, more often than not, had no shoes. As walking can be a primary form of transportation in developing countries, going barefoot means children can be at risk from cuts and sores from unsafe roads and contaminated soil. These cuts can lead to infections and is the leading cause of disease in developing countries. Also shoes can be a requirement to attend school, so without them, these children can't get an education.

Mycoskie created TOMS with the idea that still drives the company to this day. Buy a pair of shoes and a pair goes to a child who needs them. SO far over 150,000 pairs have been given away with the goal to give another 300,000 by the end of this year. It's just that easy to use your purchasing power for good.

If you want to find out more about TOMS and get yourself a pair of shoes, you can visit their website. Now that I've been on there, I want to buy the whole shop! Don't know if I can resist - comfortable, colourful, fun AND helps a good cause? Have to make some more room in my closet.

The unusual phishing email I got today

Yep - this is the first for this one so far. I normally get emails from supposed war veterns like this:

"This is John England, an American Soldier stationed in Iraq, please I need your help by keeping my two trunk boxes I discovered in Iraq containing USD $22.5Million. More details as soon as I hear from you."

Or people who need help getting money out of various countries and I'm the only one who can do it:

"When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $8.5 Million with a Bank in Cote D lvoire. Presently this money is still in the custody of the Bank in Cote D lvoire...Contact me on the this email addres and any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another good person."

Financial rewards of course can be mine if I give them all of my account details. But this one is a first and isn't even from a Russian woman looking to be your new bride!

"Hello,

I know its not reasonable to mail someone like this, but i dont have enough time to go and sign up on facebook or anything, basically im looking forward to hangout or have a relationship with a decent girl, maybe if you are single and interested email me back at this address

(NOTE: I'll withhold that so you're not tempted to click on it)

and im really very sorry if this emial bothers you, and if it does let me know knwo i will never sned you ant kind of email.

Thanks alot :))"

Hmmmmm.....anyone else get an email from Leonardo Blanchard? Or am I the only lucky one?

Romantic Comedy Structure & Tropes: Part 3

A Comparison of Secretary and When Harry Met Sally

In all romantic comedies, there is what can be considered the “will they, won’t they moment.” This is the moment where the audience sees and feels the chemistry between the protagonists long before they admit it to each other. This creates a major turning point in the film. Being true to form, this moment occurs approximately 45 minutes or half way through both films in question. In When Harry Met Sally, the two are dancing cheek to cheek – he smells her hair, she presses in closer and they separate as if to kiss. They deny themselves this moment but as an audience we are able to understand they have fallen for each other. In Secretary, this moment occurs as Mr. Grey hears her sniff and he pauses, unsure if he should chastise her and she in turn waits for his rebuke. As an audience, we feel the heightened sexual tension that this creates which is then followed by Mr. Grey finally stepping over the line of employer/ employee to spank her for the first time which is how they show affection and love in their relationship.

In romantic comedies, “the heroes and heroines…often confront difficult moral dilemmas. ” These dilemmas can go against either their personal beliefs or those of society. In both films, these dilemmas lead to a falling-out between the protagonists that occurs at the beginning of the third act. In the case of When Harry Met Sally, Harry’s belief is that sex ruins friendships and that’s why men and women can’t be friends. Sally and Harry’s friendship springs up despite of this so after they sleep together, Harry wants to erase that moment and keep their relationship as it was. To Sally, it has changed and she is tired of being a consolation prize so there is a huge rift between them. In Secretary, Mr. Grey believes he should conform to society’s idea of male and female relationships even though it’s not what he needs. After masturbating on Lee, he finds a spot of semen on his trousers and the reality of what is happening between them becomes apparent. He immediately destroys all of her framed letters and fires Lee believing that by getting rid of her, he would rid himself his unusual sexual needs. This then spirals Lee into a search for a replacement for Mr. Grey and drives the potential couple further apart. In both films, these moments are the darkest for both protagonists.

This trope is typical of romantic comedies as it leads to a further trope of this genre where the protagonists “have to make some sort of personal sacrifice in order to prove themselves and finally win the one they love.” Alone on New Years Eve, Harry passes the place where Sally first dropped him off when they arrived in New York twelve years earlier. Remembering the moments between them, Harry realizes that he indeed loves Sally and his beliefs about the ideas of love and friendship shift. In Secretary, Mr. Grey, untrusting of Lee's love for him and having asked her to prove it by remaining at his desk with her hands firmly placed on top, reads about Lee in the paper when she becomes a local celebrity as she is still waiting for him after three days. This gives him the insight that her declaration of love is true and their type of relationship is what works between them. This being the case, Mr. Grey knows he must go against the societal norm to finally have true love. Both then have the “run to the airport moment” that occurs in lead up to the climax of most romantic comedies. Harry runs through the streets of New York in hopes to find Sally to declare his love to her while Mr. Grey drives to his office and from amongst reporters, community and family members, whisks Lee away.

To round off the comparison between these two films, the fairytale ending can not be overlooked. When Harry Met Sally shows the first kiss of the new lovers and then gives a final interview between the two as they talk about their marriage and their happiness together. Secretary gives us the moments of Mr. Grey lovingly taking care of Lee, their marriage and unorthodox honeymoon and finally their settle into suburban lifestyle where their sadomasochist relationship still occurs behind closed doors. Both films show that though the protagonists went through adversity and misunderstandings, love prevails for them and an audience can assume that these characters will live happily ever after which is one of the most recognizable romantic comedy troupes of all.

As shown, Secretary has all the elements of a romantic comedy as compared to When Harry Met Sally, a seminal film of this genre. Due to the unorthodox relationship that occurs between the protagonists, however, most people will be unable to see it as such. In this case, social politics overshadows what could be considered a standard love story. Only by looking beyond societal norms can an audience appreciate the humour, passion and tenderness of a film no less worthy of the title of romantic comedy.

Read Part 1 of Romantic Comedy Structure and Tropes

Read Part 2 of Romantic Comedy Structure and Tropes

Photo by Zack Sheppard

Romantic Comedy Structure & Tropes: Part 2

A Comparison of Secretary and When Harry Met Sally

Another similarity between the two films is the presence of the best friend. There are three reasons for the best friend in romantic comedies. They serve to add humour, to move the plot along and to give an insight to the protagonists’ inner thoughts in order to reveal their character as well as their insecurities and in some cases musings on the focus of their love. As a traditional romantic comedy, When Harry Met Sally gives both Harry and Sally a friend, Jess and Marie respectively, which serve all three of the above purposes. Secretary also has a representative best friend. Melanie Halsall states in her article “The Best Friend in the Romantic Comedy” that “if the best friend is absent from the film, there has to be the addition of another device, such as a narration, to allow us an insight into the motivations of the characters. ” Secretary uses a combination of narration and Lee’s boyfriend, Peter, as best friend. Of course, he then plays a duel role in this case as not only does he provide insight into Lee and moves the plot forward but also serves to show that the relationship between Mr. Grey and Lee is real love compared to what she has with Peter.

This relationship leads to another romantic comedy trope which is found in the unsuitable relationship that the protagonists have apart from each other. This often serves as a catalyst for the progression of their relationship. It also serves to highlight how suitable the protagonists are for each other. In Secretary, Lee embarks on a liaison with her friend Peter as her attempt to have a normal relationship. Their first kiss, witnessed by Mr. Grey, sparks the beginning of Mr.Grey’s criticism of Lee which eventually leads to their sadomasochistic relationship that Lee comes to crave. Peter, on the other hand, can’t fulfil her sexual or emotional needs as he requires a conventional relationship. Near the end of the film, when Lee is being fitted into Peter’s mother’s wedding dress, she realizes that she loves Mr. Grey and runs to him to declare that fact. In comparison, When Harry Met Sally uses the ending of unsuitable relationships as a catalyst into their friendship, the one that Harry claimed could never exist in the first place. This moment occurs approximately 30 minutes into the film which is also when the same type of catalytic moment occurs in Secretary. Further to this, When Harry Met Sally uses the finding of new loves by the protagonists’ prospective exes to push Harry and Sally into new areas of their relationship. When Harry sees his ex-wife at the department store, it drives him to needle Sally about her inability to move on from Joe, her ex-fiancé, and how she is emotionless and Sally retorts that his way of dealing is no better as he seems to be sleeping with the entire female population of New York as a form of revenge. Though Harry then apologizes, this exchange turns their light friendship into something deeper. When Sally hears Joe’s, engagement, she falls into the arms of Harry which leads to them having sex, which inextricably changes their relationship forever.

Read Part 1 of Romantic Comedy Structure and Tropes

Read Part 3 of Romantic Comedy Structure and Tropes

Photo by peasap

Romantic Comedy Structure & Tropes: Part 1

A Comparison of Secretary and When Harry Met Sally

Throughout cinematic history, romantic comedies have been very popular with filmgoers, as demonstrated by the 53,444,481 tickets to romantic comedies sold in the USA in 2006 alone . Since the idea of love is the thing that is often cherished and sought after in society, it is no wonder we are drawn to these films that “tell us about ourselves as men and women, sexual desire, love, relationships, our longings and wishes, our fallibilities and fears. ” As the face of love is changing, so must our idea of romantic comedy. Though Steven Shainberg’s Secretary has been labelled a drama or even a black comedy, this film actually uses the basic structure and tropes attributed to romantic comedy to tell its sadomasochist love story. By comparing it to a well known romantic comedy of the 80s, When Harry Met Sally, we can see that Secretary, though dark at times, can still be considered a romantic comedy due to its structure and genre tropes.

According to Sally Potter in I Love You But…Romance, Comedy and the Movies, the basis of all romantic comedies confronts the same questions including: “What makes a good relationship? What makes us happy? What do men and women really want?” and in an article in July 2004’s Scriptwriter, she goes further to say “The essence of all romantic comedy lies in the formidable obstacles the lovers must overcome in order for their love to survive, if only for a short while. ” As an overall structure, these forms are true for both films in question but how do they hold up when dissected into genre tropes?

In most romantic comedies the viewer is faced with two protagonists who together would make an unlikely couple. Nothing more is true for both When Harry Met Sally and Secretary. In the beginning of both, it is clearly set out that the couples are unsuitable for each other. Harry is a slobby, angst-driven pessimistic as compared to Sally’s chirpy, overly-organized, eternal optimist. In the case of Secretary, Mr. Grey is Lee’s efficient, worldly employer, and she is merely his employee in her first job role. These conflicting personalities lead to personal and social obstacles between them that have to be overcome. This is key in romantic comedy as the conflict between what we want and what we need or believe is the core of most love stories. “Change is, in essence, what most of us seek in love-relationships – we want change, and love changes us.”

Read Part 2 of Romantic Comedy Structure and Tropes

Read Part 3 of Romantic Comedy Structure and Tropes

Photo by Bombardier

He's Fantastic and he's a Fox!

A short 12 hours ago an email popped into my inbox. A spare ticket for a film was up for grabs. But not just any film. Tonight was the world premiere of Fantastic Mr. Fox as well as the opening night of the BFI 53rd London Film Festival. I fired back an immediate yes. Normally I'm always a couple seconds too late when free things are up for offer, but this time, I got the ticket (thanks Jim)! Fantastic Mr. Fox here I come.

Now anyone who knows me knows I try to fit too many things in a day, so it wasn't a big surprise that I was running late. I missed my train and I still had to go home and change (black tie all the way!) SO I jumped into a cab. On principle I dont' take cabs. They are like a magical wonder to me yes but I do hate to spend that much money to get somewhere, especially in London. Now being a couple minutes (or 10) behind wouldn't normally bother me but it was 6:20 and if I wasn't at the theatre by 7 pm. I wouldn't get in. No exceptions.

OK. The pressure is on. Rush hour. London. Black cab. My driver suggests Leicester Square may be busy - something about Clooney or something. "Yes, yes!" I exclaim. "That's where I'm going! I'm going to premiere of his film" With fire in his eyes, the driver looked back at me and said, "You will get there. I promise." With that his foot went to the floor, and we sped off through town. Well sped may be a bit much as we got cut off, hit traffic, and were blocked by road works. As we got closer and closer, he capped the cost of the ride saying the slow down was his fault (goodness, I've never got that before! Thank you my Canadian little black dress). When we got as close as possible, he gave me a thumbs up as I ran through Leicester Square. Ticket in hand, I crossed the red carpet and entered the cinema.

Fantastic Mr. Fox is Wes Anderson's first animated film and what a film it was. Not only did it have a top British stop animation working on the look, it featured a star-studded cast of voices including George Clooney (he's so handsome in real life despite the fuzzy photo below - sigh), Meryl Streep (she wasn't there as she had the flu), Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Eric Anderson, Jarvis Cocker...the list goes on. To accomodate the popularity of the film, both the Empire and the Odeon showed the film at the same time so the cast and crew had to open the Odeon film and then rush over to the Empire (where I was).

Wes Anderson opened with a speech about the film and what it was like working on it in the UK. After a few words I didn't completely listen to due to Clooney standing a couple rows from where I was sitting but soon Anderson introduced the cast, crew and Roald Dahl's wife who was the last to come up to the stage.

For those who don't know the story of Fantastic Mr. Fox, it starts with Mr and Mrs Fox (Clooney and Streep) who live with their son Ash (Schwartzman) and a visiting cousin Kristofferson (Eric Anderson). 12 years before, Mr. Fox promised to stop stealing after hearing of his child's impending arrival but his animal instincts are kicking back in. Soon he's back to his old ways and his thievery untimately endangers his family and his entire community. Will Mr. Fox and friends be able to band together to save them from the 3 evil farmer's Mr. Fox has been stealing from, or are they doomed to die hiding underground?

The film was magical. I've been a fan of stop motion animation ever since I saw the California Raisins Christmas Special as a kid. Anderson used this form of animation in such a way that it paid homage to the original book without losing any of the drive one would expect from an animated film. Best of all, as the characters could go anywhere and do anything, the tiny details (every time someone swore they said "cuss" instead of the swear word) and sight gags added to the fun and humour of the film.

I've seen almost all of Wes Anderson's films and found this to be the most mature and linear of his pieces despite it being an animation. Though there was still a random meander to it that I find charming but relentless in his other films, here it all played back to poking fun at convention while still keeping on that same path. For instance, when there was a montage sequence, it played over the music of Petey (Jaris Cocker) and his rag tag band who were gathered elsewhere waiting for Mr. Fox and family to appear. This is all paraphrasing here, but as Petey sang away, his evil farmer boss, Mr. Bean, asked him what he was doing. "Just making stuff up as I go along" to which Bean said "That's not how you write a song." Petey shrugged and said "I guess not." Was this a gentle jibe at Jarvis or maybe Anderson himself?

I don't want to get in much more detail on how good this was because it is. And with so many good lines, as soon as one entered, it'd promptly leave my head to make room for the next. Maybe I could have saved myself all this time by just writing "IT WAS GREAT. GO SEE IT." Really...do go see it.

So I'll end with this. A line I think I'm getting right. Riley (with the departure of a baddie): "He just went bananas." Mr. Fox: "Yes. He went bananas."

Write a letter to the CRTC Secretary General to save small broadcasters

Today, I got this email from Kern, the Program Development Manager from Access. Basically there's been public debate between cable and satellite companies and Canada's broadcasters over revenue. I think it's an important issue to look at from all sides but I'll let you decide what you want to do. For myself, I'm going to send a letter. It's companies like Access that filmmakers (like me!) make the programming they're passionate about.

"I'm sure you've heard of the recent public debate between cable and satellite companies and Canada's broadcasters. Perhaps what you didn't know was the impact that this issue has on ACCESS.

For some years ACCESS has been funded by advertising revenue generated by our popular prime time programs. We use this revenue to offset the costs of non-commercial educational programming in the morning and afternoon, and we use this revenue to produce our daily provincial current affairs program, Alberta Primetime, and to support independent production.

The only reason we are able to continue our educational broadcasts and to support independent production is because we are part of the CTV conventional broadcast system. Without high profile popular programming to generate ad revenue and without the local CTV production infrastructure in Edmonton and Calgary, ACCESS cannot exist.

As an independent producer, you are aware of the importance of personal involvement in social and political issues. The survival of CTV conventional stations and therefore the survival of ACCESS has become a political issue.

The outcome of important public hearings set to be held in Ottawa this December will impact you directly. The importance and the breadth of this issue is exemplified by the partnership between companies that are ostensibly competitors - CTV, Global and the CBC - who are combining to shed light on this case. Please visit http://www.localtvmatters.com/ to get the facts about this issue.

With this email, we are asking you to send a letter to the CRTC indicating your support of our industry's efforts to simply seek the right to negotiate with cable and satellite companies to determine a fair market value for our local TV signals - fair compensation for our product. As it now stands, cable and satellite companies take our stations for free and sell them to the public. Local broadcasters receive nothing from this, and yet we're the ones who produce news and current affairs, license independent productions and help our communities grow and connect with the world around them.

You are likely aware that 2 local television stations have went dark since August - CKX in Brandon, MB and CKRD in Red Deer, AB. Over the next year or two, there are another 20 to 30 that will be closed unless the regulations that were developed in the middle of the last century are changed. The fate of ACCESS is inextricably linked with the fate of the conventional broadcast system. If you wish to appear in front of the commission, please indicate this in your letter.

This is the final time this issue will be discussed and ruled on.

Your letter must be either mailed or faxed and received by the CRTC by November 2nd- quote CRTC #2009-614

Secretary General
Canadian Radio-Television and Telecommunications Commission
Ottawa, Ontario
K1A 0N2
Submitted via fax (819) 994-0218
Broadcasting Notice of Consultation CRTC 2009-614

Please email or fax me (Kern) a copy of your letter once finished. My fax number is 780-484-4426."

Twitter gave me the gift of coffee

I follow Nick Butler aka @loudmouthman after meeting him at Tuttle Club at the ICA. He mentioned the joys of xpress coffee and so I asked how he got their coffee. To my surprise, @xpresscoffee sent me a tweet and offered to send me some coffee so I could try it out.

A couple weeks later and instead of a couple small packs of beans, I've been given bushels of coffee! Of course I want to drink it all at once but that's a bit too greedy. Instead I'm going to share some of it with a couple regular joes so we can all taste test and compare notes on all this coffee. I'm merely an amateur but I do love the stuff so hopefully I can get a few others in on this journey.

Check back for reviews of Xpress Coffee from the tastebuds of regular coffee guzzlers. No more instant coffee for me ever again! Thank you twitter. I love you.